when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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