I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
