can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
