yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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