Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
you win again, gameday.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
