we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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