Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
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