Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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