well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
