I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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