we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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