found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
