god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
