What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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