I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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