PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
