It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize