Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
