The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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