Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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