i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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