David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
