I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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