Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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