Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
