He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
