at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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