I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
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