I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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