Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
