I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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