just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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