walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
