i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
