I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
