Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
