I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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