I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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