Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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