Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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