it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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