She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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