Hey man sorry I got all grabby
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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