That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
