i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
