there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
i out mim tonsoeep
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