I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
