dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
