don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
