my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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