He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
God, I missed his penis.
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