So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
