Its about making memories worth repressing
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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