Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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