I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
