Do you still have your period?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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